ha, yea
ha, yea
i have to abandon this name.
endstructable.tumblr.com …if you have found any of this interesting.
i don’t bitch as much and i try to just post pictures of things.
and if anyone knows how to delete one of these, i’d greatly appreciate it.
i don’t know what to say
stack of fucking notebooks by my bed
you are all i think about and you know this
why do i just think of more ways to say it
there it is
she drives me crazy, kid.
Anonymous asked: well regardless i do miss you. and our conversations.
clearly, enough to conceal your identity.
Anonymous asked: i did not disappear.
flew away, same thing.
Anonymous asked: Chirp?
yes.
Anonymous asked: have you forgotten me?
more likely, you disappeared.
Missin’ you,
And do you miss me too? Do you miss me back? Miss ya so much my fucking cigarettes are black. And my lungs, and the clouds, and my clothes, and the hole, and the horse i came in on whoa whoa whoa no. Black gloves cover up my true blues, gripping that black cigarette like i used to grip to you. Miss ya so fucking much i smoke them, too. Emptying all my ashtrays, of all the things, that remind me of.
upper echelon, me and john.
this one goes out to the sad, sad hoes that lie in our wake.
so, i finally wrote that song about you…
and you probably really hate that i wrote a song about you.
yeah, you probably went told everyone it was about you, too.
girl, you probably, secretly, fucking love that i wrote a song about you.
but you probably, more recently, realize and hate how it is the truth.
don’t you?
ahehhheheh, ahhhehhhahh,
uuuahhahahahehhhhhauheh.
this is the last la dispute post because for this, this is the last post.
so,
You still cross my mind from time to lime. And I mostly smile. Still so set on finding out where we went wrong and why… So I retrace our every step with an unsure pen, trying to figure out what my head thinks, but my head just ain’t what it used to be. And then again, what’s the point anyway? I remember you ascending all the stairs up to the balcony to see if you could see me - hidden quietly away. And I remember the skin of your fingers, The spot three quarters up I’d always touch when I was out of things to say. You held my hand, but you were too afraid to speak and I could never understand. I remember when you leaned in quick to kiss me, and I swear, that not a single force on earth could stop the trembling of my hand. And I remember how you smiled through the smoke in a crowded little coffeehouse and laughed at all my jokes. And I remember the way that you dressed and, how we wasted all the best of us in alcohol and sweat. And I remember when I knew that you’d be leaving, how I barely kept up breathing and I bet if I had to do it all again, I’d feel the same pain.
And I remember panicked circles in the terminal in tears. How I wept to god in fits. I’ve hated airports ever since. It must be true what people say, that only time can heal the pain.
And every single day I feel it fade away, but - I still remember how the distance tricked us,
and lead us helpless by the wrist into a pit to be devoured. I still remember how we held so strong to this, though we had never really settled on a way out. I still remember the silence, and how we’d always find a way to turn and run to our mistakes. I still remember how it all came back together just to fall apart again. My dear, I hear your voice in mine. I’ve been alone here, I’ve been afraid, my dear. I’ve been at home here. You’ve been away for years. I’ve been alone. I breathed your name into the air; I etched your name into me. I felt my anger swelling; I swam into its sea. I held your name inside my heart, but it got buried in my fear. It tore the wiring of my brain; I did my best to keep it clear. So, dear, no matter how we part, I hold you sweetly in my head. And if I do not miss a part of you, a part of me is dead. If I can’t love you as a lover, I will love you as a friend. And I will lay a bed before you; keep you safe until the–
you spend more effort saying that you’re trying than you do trying to make an effort. you spend more effort saying that you’re trying than you do trying to make an effort. you spend more effort saying that you’re trying than you do trying to make an effort. you spend more effort saying that you’re trying than you do trying to make an effort. you spend more effort saying that you’re trying than you do trying to make an effort. you spend more effort saying that you’re trying than you do trying to make an effort. you spend more effort saying that you’re trying than you do trying to make an effort. you spend more effort saying that you’re trying than you do trying to make an effort. you spend more effort saying that you’re trying than you do trying to make an effort. you spend more effort saying that you’re trying than you do trying to make an effort. you spend more effort saying that you’re trying than you do trying to make an effort. you spend more effort saying that you’re trying than you do trying to make an effort. you spend more effort saying that you’re trying than you do trying to make an effort. you spend more effort saying that you’re trying than you do trying to make an effort. you spend more effort saying that you’re trying than you do trying to make an effort. you spend more effort saying that you’re trying than you do trying to make an effort. you spend more effort saying that you’re trying than you do trying to make an effort. you spend more effort saying that you’re trying than you do trying to make an effort. you spend more effort saying that you’re trying than you do trying to make an effort. you spend more effort saying that you’re trying than you do trying to make an effort.
“saudade”
four more days for this thing.
and then i’m starting everything.
FEEL IT.
right out the gate.
